


nighttime secrets

by darlingargents



Series: Ladies Bingo 2017/2018 [12]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Awkwardness, Blood, Community: ladiesbingo, Established Relationship, F/F, Lardo Week 2018, Vampire Lardo, Vampires, no sexy blood drinking unfortunately, that awkward moment when your gf finds out that you're a vampire by accident
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-04-05 12:13:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14044056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darlingargents/pseuds/darlingargents
Summary: The thing is, it’s kinda awkward to tell your girlfriend that you’re a vampire.





	nighttime secrets

**Author's Note:**

> For Lardo Week Day Five: Favourite Tropes and a Ladies Bingo fill for **Awkwardness**.

In retrospect, this is not how Lardo would have wanted to tell her girlfriend that she’s a vampire.

Considering half her face and both her hands are covered in blood, her fangs are out and hanging over her lips, and Camilla is staring at her from Lardo’s bed — and honestly, Lardo had been _so sure_ that she was asleep, so this is just terrible luck all around — with an expression that Lardo doesn’t know how to quantify.

Yeah. This was not in the plan.

* * *

The thing is, it’s kinda awkward to tell your girlfriend that you’re a vampire.

It’s hard enough to tell casual friends. It had taken Lardo the better part of a year to tell anyone on the SMH team, and it was still just her closer friends who knew. Though since half of them were werewolves taking wolfsbane pills to keep the playing field as even as possible, they weren’t going to judge anyway.

And anyway, she’s only half vampire — her mom was one. So unlike full vampires, she’s still alive, and ages at pretty much the same rate as a human, and can go out in the sun (just not too often or too much), and eats regular food — which, thank god, if she couldn’t eat Bitty’s baking because of her supernatural status it would’ve been _torture_. She just needs some blood every few days, and has an even harder time staying on a non-nocturnal sleep schedule than the average college student, and has retractable fangs for when she needs blood. It’s pretty normal. Not a big deal.

She’s really no different from anyone else, which is how she had justified not telling Camilla after their first date. Or their second. Or their third, which turned into drunk sloppy makeouts at a kegster and Lardo almost revealing her fangs because she hadn’t gotten any blood in a few days and Camilla just smelled _so good_ and she was too drunk to control it.

That should’ve been when she told Camilla, Lardo knows. Or at least the next day when they were both sober. But she hadn’t, and they’re going on three months now, and Lardo still hasn’t told her.

She’d had a plan to do it. A vague one, admittedly, but a plan nonetheless. She was going to take Camilla out for coffee, on a Saturday for reduced stress, and have various articles and books on hand about how vampires and other supernaturals aren’t inherently dangerous or evil or minions of Satan. She’d known it might go badly, and she’d been prepared for that possibility.

Of course, now it’s Friday night — or, technically, Saturday morning, only a few hours before the planned coffee date — and Lardo woken up a couple hours after falling asleep, and she’d felt hungry enough to go over to her mini fridge to get some blood as a quick snack, and it turned out that she’d been hungrier than she thought, so she’d gotten a little careless. And the blood bag was one of those cheap ones for a budget and the package was _really_ weak — honestly, Lardo’s never going to buy this brand again — and it had torn in her hands while she was drinking and sort of exploded in her face. So she’s covered in blood. And she’d been almost done drinking it — might as well finish it off if the bag is broken anyway, she’d figured — when Camilla had woken up and flicked the light on, presumably upon realizing that Lardo was gone but there was someone making odd noises from the other side of the room.

And here she is.

* * *

“You’re a vampire.”

“Half,” Lardo says on instinct, and winces. “Uh, chyeah. My mom was one?”

“Right.” Camilla still looks freaked out, and Lardo realizes that she really needs to clean all this blood off her face and hands, like, yesterday. She puts down the near-empty bag on the table and goes over to the sink, grabbing a washcloth.

“Bag exploded,” she says to Camilla. She still looks frozen as Lardo scrubs the blood off her face.

“Right,” Camilla says again. “Were you planning on telling me?”

Lardo winces. “Um. Yeah. I actually planned to do it tomorrow. Well, today now, I guess. I just got hungry, and here we are?” She’s gotten most of the blood off, so she drops the washcloth in the sink. Her nails are edged with red, but she can deal with that later.

“Uh.” Camilla isn’t really moving.

Lardo remembers the articles, and practically runs over to her bag to get them out. “Here, I printed these out for you to read. If you want to. Like, I don’t want you to think I’m a bloodthirsty monster, so I thought these might help.” She hands the stack of paper to Camilla. Some of the life seems to come back into her as she looks down at the top one — an online article titled “KILLER VAMPIRES: THE ULTIMATE MYTH” and which goes on to explain that vampire murderers are slightly less common than average and that vampires are far more likely to be victims of violence from vampire hunters or friends and family from before turning.

Camilla skims through the papers, and looks back up at Lardo. “You really were planning to tell me.”

“Yeah,” says Lardo. “Like, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier, but it’s awkward, you know? It’s a weird thing to tell anybody. I didn’t want to scare you off, but then I felt guilty for keeping it from you for so long. So I set a date.” She laughs, and it’s a little forced, but Camilla seems like she might be too out of it to be able to tell. “Guess that didn’t work out.”

“It’s… it’s fine.” Camilla sets the papers aside. “I don’t think you’re dangerous. It’s just a bit of a shock.”

“Yeah,” Lardo says. “Do you… do you want to go back to your dorm? I can walk you.” She doesn’t want Camilla to leave, but she figures it might be a good idea to give her an out. In case she needs to process.

“No, it’s fine. Come back to bed? I want to cuddle.”

Lardo finds herself smiling, and then finds she can’t stop. She climbs in next to Camilla and turns off the light, burying her head in Camilla’s chest.

She drifts off to sleep feeling warmer and safer than she has in a long time.


End file.
